LIFE & YOUTUBE UPDATE #1
You probably haven’t noticed, but I’ve deleted every old post here (not that there were that many) simply because I wanted a completely fresh start on here, especially as this is my most under-utilised social media platform and I’d like to change that from now on.
The past week has been a tough one for me. I’ve even been on a bit of a social media “hiatus” for all of 4 days. A mixture of getting an e-shitstorm thrown at me on Tuesday for a video I posted regarding someone else’s video which upset me (mine is still up, with comments disabled, though I’m not sure for how much longer - I’m feeling like taking it down, not because I take back anything I said or have changed my opinions in any way, but just because of what that video represents to me now. I’d rather it just disappear.) and with the big ol’ addition of my currently floundering mental state…. let’s just say if my mental strength was personified it’d be a weakling in the waves, doggy paddling to survive and not sink to the whale-shit-at-the-bottom-of-the-ocean right about now. So those two things, on top of of course my physical health being shitty just created a pretty rough time for me.
I was seriously considering quitting YouTube up until I made the final decision not to this evening. No, I wasn’t just being melodramatic for effect. I truly wasn’t sure if the pressure and stress of maintaining a semi-busy and active channel (not to mention the notorious “hate” that comes with a higher subscriber count) was having a more negative than positive impact on my life and if I would be better off abandoning ship, purely for my wellbeing. I never felt comfortable with this thought, as I truly ADORE YouTubing, and love nearly everything that comes with it. But there are those few downsides that just showed themselves this week and scared me off a little.
This evening however, I indeed made the final decision (with the help of listening to Jason Mraz’s ‘3 Things’ on repeat and taking in the words as sound advice) to not only return to my channel next week, but to try and improve it and come back bigger and better. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, I’ve got a few ideas but I’m still brainstorming, but I don’t ever want to be one of those vloggers that plateaus and becomes complacent and lazy in their quality and content. I want to work hard, make a positive impact, and create good shit!
So that’s my little update. Included in this “bigger and better” idea is me trying to blog more often. I’m not sure whether that will be on a Wordpress type of platform or on here yet, I’m leaning towards here because it’s just easier and tumblr is basically prettier (ha), but I’ll definitely be dusting off my writing chops and getting back into the swing of things. You probably don’t know this, but I’ve been blogging (on and off) since I was about 15 (7 years ago). Yep, I used to write lifestyle and fandom stuff on Livejournal all those years ago, before blogging was even really that big a “thing”! So I’ve definitely always enjoyed it.
Also, I’ve had a fabulous reading week! In the past 4 days I read and finished 3 books - Open Road Summer, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, and The Merciless - and before the weekend is out I plan on finishing up my current read of Adaptation by Malinda Lo. That’s my best reading week in a long time! I guess once I decided to take a break and have a few days of “me time” it allowed me to relax and concentrate a bit better. Whatever the reason, I’m a happy Book Bunny!
Ok, as always, whether written or in video format, my outro here is rambled and long so I’m just going to say bye….
Bye Book Bunnies! <3